Forgive Me

Night fell on on the urban wasteland so many people call home. The sun and the moon kissed each other farewell as they went on their neverending journeys – each with its own purpose and direction. While the sun brought hope to another part of the world, the moon extinguished all of it in the part which I called ‘home’. Starless night. Like so many others we’ve had. Not a single spark in the sky to remind humanity that there is still something worth living for…worth dying for…Only the pale face of the moon. Staring at me. Looking straight into my eyes and whispering in my head: “Betrayer…betrayer…betrayer…”.

I hadn’t had any sleep for months. For each time I closed my eyes I saw the moonlit face of all those I had turned my back to. Most of them had already given up the fight and their cold souls were now wandering the other world full of grief, righteously blaming me…Always blaming me…

Then came the rain. The tears of the heavens fell down to the tortured ground. Each and every one of them felt like a stone on my heart. And the moon. The moon was still there watching as if it was her tears that I now felt on my body and her burning gaze was always turned on me.

This was going on for almost two years now. The short moments I fell asleep were full of dark nightmares which seemed to become even darker with each passing day…untill I stopped closing my eyes at all. And every time dawn came again I was afraid…afraid that after it there is only dusk…and after dusk – the moon.

I was once their pride…HER pride. They relied on me, sought my counsel when in need and sought my consolation when in pain. And I was always willing to give. And she was always smiling. Watching over me while I slept and keeping my nightmares away with her silvery light. Untill I threw it all away…

I walked my own way leaving them blind for the dangers the world had to offer. Taking away that which they held most dear – friendship. When she realized what I had done she spoke to me no more. Only the whispers were left: “Betrayer…betrayer…betrayer…”.

Today. This evening. All this is going to change. Only one quarter left until her face shines in full upone the mortal world. Only one quarter left for me to prove I have changed. Their souls will no longer walk withouth a path and scream without a voice. Their bodies will no longer wither and slowly die. For I am the Evening Star, the first light to shine upon the world in times of darkness, the last light to fade away before the coming dawn. I am the Guardian of Hope and I will never turn my back on you again. Forgive me…

~ by Vesper Starr on October 28, 2009.